Watch out, Manhattan

By Bryan Richardson

The Mercury recently made some internal changes.

After being the education reporter since August 2010, I became the city reporter a few weeks ago.

It was like getting a new job without a change in scenery or increased pay. I didn’t even change desks.

Still, the tasks were different. I was apprehensive because of the connections I’ve made over the years in the education community.

How has this adjustment been so far?

I’m proud to say I’ve figured out everything there is to know about the city.

In less than a month, I have conquered this beat so hard.

This new challenge is figuring out what to do after reaching every achievement.

It seems to be time to move on and retire on top as the greatest city reporter that America has ever seen.

The problem is I’m a bit restless. Retirement won’t be an easy thing to deal with at 24, so I will delay the process for a bit.

This period of time will be devoted to determining a new career path. The following people should be on the lookout for me in their field: 1. Dave Lewis Lewis and his voice seem to be everywhere. K-State games. Commercials. Giveaways. Parties.

Perhaps he needs his load lightened a bit. Hasn’t Manhattan grown enough to utilize another voice?

My voice is soothing. People have told me I remind them of a young James Earl Jones.

It doesn’t have to be a rivalry. Apprenticeship is the more appropriate word for what this situation would be.

Is there a special drink that helps the voice? Is it true that if you don’t use it, you’ll lose it? These are things only Lewis can answer.

2. Eric Stonestreet How much longer can Modern Family remain on TV?

Stonestreet might still retain his status as K-State’s favorite actor after the TV show ends, but maybe someone else could assume that role.

I didn’t attend K-State, but the university community adopted me as one of its own. I also have acting experience by the boatload that rivals Stonestreet’s.

Stonestreet got his start with K-State Theatre playing lead roles.

I once delivered a fantastic line as “Messenger Boy” in the eighth-grade play.

Stonestreet won two Emmy Awards for Outstanding Supporting Actor in a Comedy Series.

I was once a part of a reader’s theater ensemble that made the finals of a district theater competition in the seventh grade.

It’s like we’re the same person.

3. Bill Snyder The goal isn’t to replace Snyder immediately. When you have a road and stadium named after you, you’ve clearly earned the ability to leave when you’re good and ready.

There are whispers about who should take over the football team after Snyder.

Look no further, Wildcat fans.

A bachelor’s degree with my name on it resides in my apartment, which means I went to college. You can’t reach college athletes if you’ve never been to college.

My mom birthed me in Texas, which is where I grew up. Football is in my blood.

These qualifications can’t be ignored.

4. Steve Cameron This one is a little personal, but this needs to be said.

Steve Cameron stole my job as executive editor at The Mercury in a sneaky, under-handed fashion that makes it hard for me to love him.

Bill Felber, our former editor, had been grooming me for years to take his position. He never said this with words, but his eyes told me he wanted me to have his job.

Felber neared retirement as summer 2013 rolled around. I waited for my chance to interview, but I left for a long-planned vacation. Do you want to know what happened while I was gone? The Mercury hired Steve Cameron.

Can you believe that? The audacity.

Vacations are nice, but maybe Steve Cameron should reconsider any future vacation plans.

Steve Cameron never knows when a jilted reporter might be lurking in the shadows waiting to pounce on Steve Cameron’s job while Steve Cameron is gone. That reporter might have a golden voice.

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