Trump should return to his cave

It’s too bad his money can’t buy self-control

By The Mercury

Poor Donald Trump. He’s feeling left out again. Here it is the home stretch of the presidential campaign and all the focus is on the candidates. Other than remind Republicans that he actually led the GOP primary for a week or so and maybe fire someone, what’s a loud-mouthed mogul to do?

If Trump couldn’t be the Republican nominee, Mitt Romney would do. He is a former governor and saved the Salt Lake City Olympics and has even been a corporate CEO, though he’s a pauper compared to Trump. However, Mr. Romney is at least on the correct side of things.

That isn’t the case for President Barack Obama, whom Trump found worthy of a birther broadside during the Republican primary campaign. Most Americans who can read and write — Glenn Beck and Michele Bachmann notwithstanding — found those allegations a little amusing but mostly tiresome.

Back then Trump sent — or at least claimed he sent — private investigators to Hawaii to put the lie to the president’s claims of citizenship. Never mind that pesky birth certificate. Said Trump of his PI’s: “They cannot believe what they’re finding.”

Neither could anyone else. And it was amazing how quickly the private investigators vanished and Trump, urged to change the subject by more credible Republicans, returned to his cave.

Now perhaps restless sitting in the cheap seats, Trump has again pushed his way on stage, reprising and escalating his attacks.

He’s declared that he has “information bordering on the gigantic” — so gigantic, in fact, that it could “possibly” change the presidential race.

And he has “a deal for the president… If Barack Obama opens up and gives his college records and applications and if he gives his passport applications and records, I will give to a charity of his choice… a check, immediately, for $5 million.”

Trump must believe Mr. Romney needs his help. Perhaps the oddly coiffed New Yorker has been so distracted in the last couple of weeks that he didn’t realize that the race, which had been the president’s to lose — is now a dead heat. Or maybe he just needs attention the way Dracula needs blood.

Perhaps Trump will entertain a counteroffer: Give the charity of his own choosing “a check, immediately, for $5 million,” and speak no more until after the election is decided. In exchange, Americans might try to forget what a caricature he has become.

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