Easter topped other holidays — until this year

By Paul Harris

Everyone has a favorite holiday. For most, it is either Thanksgiving or Christmas. Maybe even Halloween. Although those are up there, my favorite has always been Easter. After further investigation, I realized that Easter is the least-stressful holiday of any of the major holidays.

Before I share the greatness of Easter, I am going to give you reasons why the other holidays, Thanksgiving, Christmas, and Halloween, just do not stack up. 

There are parts of Thanksgiving that I love. You eat a ton of food and then take a long nap. But there are also parts that I hate. I have a hard time sitting still for a couple of hours. So the idea of doing nothing for an entire day is really nerve-wracking. If you’re a fidgety person, you will understand. Thanksgiving is the holiday for the laid-back.

Christmas, again, is a great holiday. But similar to Thanksgiving, it is has its flaws. Again, you eat of ton of food and relax and spend time with family and friends. It’s like Thanksgiving, but you get gifts. Although getting gifts is great, there is a downside. We all have that relative who has no idea what to get us. They end up getting you something you will never use. I have a really guilty conscience and have a hard time lying. And of course, there is going to be those inevitable questions: What do you think? Do you like it? First, I have to lie to the givers to make them feel good.

Second, I have to then convince them that I am telling the truth and not lying. Third, I have to do this in a matter of seconds. It’s a pressured experience. I don’t do well in pressure situations. For example, when the flight attendant asked me whether I wanted pretzels or peanuts on my flight from Kansas City to Las Vegas, I answered “both.” I was caught off-guard and I panicked. I thought they just handed you a bag of whichever was available. But seriously, what kind of a stupid answer is both?  The flight attendant then stared at me, urging me to answer with her sharp eyes and jutted chain. I muttered pretzels, even though I really wanted peanuts. I thought about changing my answer, but I figured I had irked her enough for the day.

Lastly, Christmas puts a ton of pressure on you to spend money you don’t have. There’s nothing like looking at your credit card bill in January and having a mild heart attack.

Finally, there is Halloween. My reasons are simple. I do not like the idea of dressing up and being someone different. It’s hard enough to pick a fun costume that is different enough yet recognizable enough so you do not spend the entire evening explaining who you are.

This leads me to Easter. You get up at a decent time in the morning. You head downstairs and then you and your young relatives search the house or the yard for plastic eggs. Inside the eggs are either candy or money. I don’t have to lie about whether I liked the gift or not, because I already know the gift is going to be awesome.

It’d be like if that flight attendant had asked me whether I wanted a great gift or a great gift, instead of pretzels or peanuts, and when I say both, she gives me a bag of Easter eggs. And while I am searching for the eggs, I get to run around and burn off my excess energy.

After that, you get to decorate eggs. I am not a huge fan of arts and crafts, but you get to have creative freedom in the decoration of your eggs. Just because your cousin is putting jewels on her egg does not mean you have to. You can write on your egg, you can dip your egg in dye, and you can glue items to your egg.  That’s a lot of possibilities, if you ask me.

Then, you get to sit down for a feast with your family and usually finish the night off by going to a church service.

For some people, going to church could be considered the downside of Easter. For me, I love it. The hardest part of going to church is trying to sit still for one to two hours. But I have viewed church as a mental release, instead of a burden.

However, Easter may have a downside this year for me. I’m spending this Easter at my girlfriend’s parents’ house in Sioux Falls, South Dakota. Her parents and I have met, but this will be the first time we spend an extended period of time together.

Supposedly, I am going to watch her father clean his shotgun in front me, which may cause Easter to slide down my list.

Telling Aunt Bea that I like her Christmas fruitcake may not seem like such a bad option after my life is threatened.

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