Cat runs for office in an effort to bring about world peace

By A Contributor

This election year as Americans ponder who to vote for, they need to bear in mind that it might not be a human after all who is elected president of their country.

Have you heard the news? Sneaky Pie Brown is running for President of the United States.

Sneaky Pie is a cat, but no ordinary cat. This tiger cat rescue has excellent communication skills, superior cat smarts, cat sense, cat sensitivity, a sort of calm, yet bold feline forcefulness, much finese and, most of all, cat trustworthiness.

But, first, Sneaky Pie needs votes and the support from other cats, dogs, mice, birds and horses.

Yes, Sneaky Pie is worried about the state of the economy, war, pollution, nuclear warfare, chemical dependence, farm loss, greed, abuse (both human and animal) and anything or anyone else who upsets the balance.

Sneaky Pie seeks a balance, a partnership, if you will, between humans and animals. If people and animals fail to work together to protect the earth and care for those they love and for whom they are loved by, it just might be too late.

With the assistance of human author and C.O. (Can Opener) Rita Mae Brown, her beloved Sneaky Pie explains why she would be a great leader, tossing in her catnip toy to run for the President of the United States in the intelligent, funny and glorious novel, “Sneaky Pie For President.”

Although the novel’s title may appear silly, stupid, even, deep down, this novel is thought-provoking, humble, sad and cheerful.

“Sneaky Pie” might be a name that some pet owners and pets would speculate over, especially for someone aiming for the Presidency, but once they get to know her, become familiar with her causes and concerns, her promises made sweet and her passion for a better America regardless of human or pet, Democrats, Republicans or other affiliation,  educational background, race, color or opinion, will seriously consider Sneaky Pie’s desire while she’s hot on the campaign trail.

Sneaky Pie; the gray cat,Pewter; the hyper Jack Russell, Tally; and the corgi, Tee Tucker; all reside on the family’s Virginia farm. There are other animals on the farm, two blind horses and a horse with sight in one eye.

  Sneaky Pie would like to see a country revive the values and philosophy of Thomas Jefferson, who, for those who might not know, favored cats.

That is one big plus in Sneaky Pie’s favor. And it also helps the campaign because one of Can Opener’s responsibilities is helping people become American citizens at Monticello, which is visited by numerous tourists each year.

Sneaky Pie seems to carry the world on her shoulders. She’s got to convince animals to change, and if they can’t even steer humans in the right direction for the common good of both people and animals, it would be an even uglier world in which to live.

The animals communicate like people communicate with each other, but the communication isn’t always clearly stated. This is why Sneaky Pie and her troupe must rely on observation, as Can Opener really doesn’t hear them speaking English. Can Opener is able, however, to sense what is happening around her and at her farm. The human, whom the pets also refer to as “Mother,” learn her human ways, how she thinks, and how much they love her. The animals share emotions with their human. They are thrilled with life, have fun exploring the wilderness and also experience the pain and sadness of the death of a beloved friend.

Life is never easy or smooth on a farm. Sneaky Pie and her pals watch their human tire herself night after night, mindful of the mountain of bills that must be paid. There are tons of chores to be done on the farm.

Throughout the novel, there exists a humble human-animal bond. Sure there are sticky moments: the pets almost getting caught at the human’s computer, a lot of horsing around which can sometimes end in much hissing and barking and biting rumps, playful times shared with animals and their “Mother” and sorrowful, disturbing scenes which people and animals understand all to well and which might also result in the earth’s demise.

I’ve got to say that I think highly of some of the views of Rita Mae Brown, in spite of the animals giving her the nickname “Can Opener.”

She, or rather, Sneaky Pie, gives readers numerous statistics of farm takeovers, environmental mistakes, genetic manipulation, human greed, destruction of private and public property, sexual discrimination, education/teacher/student discrimination and failure to raise teacher’s salaries, unemployment and the loss of kindness and beauty that once could have been strongly evident among people and other living things.

Yet, this novel is such a joy. It’s fun to listen to what animals “say” to each other and how they like to “study” humans up close or from afar.

Animals are smart. Most research by animal behavioralists has proved how intelligent dogs, cats, birds, horses, mice, rats, monkeys, wild animals and many additional creatures are and that they shouldn’t just be looked upon as dumb creatures without character and a wide range of emotion.

When Sneaky Pie and pals observe the face of their “Mother” and attempt to guess her age, it is a very engaging scene. If you have ever been reading or watching television, then look up from the business at hand only to notice your dog or cat observing you, do you ever stop and wonder what’s going on in their mind? What do they know that you might not know?

If it takes a persistent Sneaky Pie to change the world and the environment surrounding all living things, why not give her serious consideration and vote for Sneaky Pie for President.

Wouldn’t it be something if we all could turn back time and breathe the freedom, beauty and serenity of an 1880’s wilderness from the poetry, short stories and viewpoints of John Burroughs. He believed that nature was “the primal sanity.”

It seems fitting that Sneaky Pie would cherish such a way of living, just as she would also hope that humans would not be blind to her cause.

Carol Wright is a freelance writer who resides in Winfield.

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