Surely most of you watch football on TV.
Well, the most spectacular performer of the past few seasons hasn’t been wearing a helmet. In fact, he’s not even on the field.
If you’re REALLY a sports junkie, you’ve already guessed our mystery star just from looking at the headline on this column.
Yes, indeed: It’s The Most Interesting Man in the World.
For those of you familiar with the gentleman, hang on a sec. We need an introduction for the few uninformed – folks who haven’t had the fun of meeting this guy.
He’s a suave dude with silver-gray hair, the best beard in the universe and totally rugged good looks who – at the very end of some super-slick commercials – pitches beer in a husky voice: “I don’t always drink beer, but when I do…I prefer Dos Equis. Stay thirsty, my friends.”
But the hook in these commercials that’s turned them into a YouTube sensation is the narration.
In each “episode,” you see our man having a great time in the background, occasionally performing heroic feats of mountaineering or some such.
And meanwhile, you hear…
“His mother has a tattoo that says: ‘Son.’ ”
“He once ran a marathon because it was on his way.”
“If he punched you in the face, you’d have to fight off the urge to thank him.”
“Time stands still for no one…except him.”
“At museums, he is allowed to touch the art.”
‘He is the life of parties he’s never attended.”
“When in Rome…they do as HE does.”
“If he patted you on the back, you would put it on your resume.”
And so on.
At the conclusion – and you only get three of these gems per commercial – the announcer says: “He is The Most Interesting Man in the World.”
Then comes the close-up and his throaty endorsement: “Stay thirsty, my friends.”
If you’re already a fan, you no doubt swap lines about The Most Interesting Man in the World with your pals.
I have a 16-year-old buddy who watches football religiously – he’s far enough gone that he follows KU games to the end – and we start to giggle just thinking about The Most Interesting Man in the World.
“My favorite,” says Matthew, “is that he once parallel parked a train.”
Me: “He’s won the lifetime achievement award…twice.”
Matthew: “Mosquitoes refuse to bite him, purely out of respect.”
Me: “He lives vicariously through himself.”
Matthew: “Sharks have a week for him.”
Me: “When he drives a car off the lot, its price increases in value.”
We can do this all night…and have.
In fact, I realized over last weekend that there is no end of ways to toss accolades at The Most Interesting Man in the World.
The only thing left, I think, is to let you in on a secret. There’s a rumor that The Most Interesting Man in the World might be a K-State grad.
Here’s what we’ve heard:
“During the four years he attended Kansas State, it was in the Ivy League.”
“While he was in Manhattan, people all over the planet called New York City ‘The Big Plum.’ ”
“They gave him a 21-gun salute at Fort Riley when he once jogged in fatigues.”
And the most amazing tale of all about The Most Interesting Man in the World…
“Bill Snyder gave K-State’s entire injury list to HIM.”